Whatever!
Slacker. Karen. Hero?
The labels unfairly sewn into the fabric of an entire generation of women’s lives aren’t fair.
And it is making them feel kinda crazy.
It’s making society look at them as if they are crazy.
And that is not fair.
GenX women are in need of some clarity. Nobody will deny that.
Clarity that they aren’t crazy. Clarity that it isn’t their fault.
But let’s be 100% real, 100% honest,
it makes 100% sense!
Not to sound defensive of my generation, but I would like to offer the younger generations some necessary clarity. Clarity that the Boomer’s never bothered to understand.
First, as the forgotten middle child they went so unsupervised nobody bothered to notice any good they ever did. It is only assumed the obvious neglect was proof of the entire generation’s unworthiness.
Well, that’s not fair. Is it?
There’s an attitude of, “I wouldn’t join a club that would have me as a member.” embedded within that parenting formula. It says:
The child that is unworthy of parenting ends up so un-parented they are assumed to be undeserving of any parental recognition, at any point.
No matter what they do.
A young brain developing in a world that is first rejected by its own parents will find acceptance, anywhere, very difficult.
Raised being told they were ‘Slackers” they are now wondering might they be a Karen?
You might be a Karen if...is not the beginning of a new brand of comedic humor, unfortunately. It’s a Google response to questions being secretly asked to Artificial Intelligence about emotional intelligence they were never provided. They were never encouraged even to question.
Please, give me a moment to explain.
There is a really good reason for all the confusion.
A really good explanation exists for most of the outbursts.
Please. For a moment. Pretend these women are worth helping.
Imagine it can all be different.
Now, from the most compassionate lens possible, I would like you to imagine a feral child raised on the National Enquirer coming into their sexuality simultaneously alongside the introduction, discovery, and misunderstanding of HIV and the AIDS epidemic.
(With the hindsight of 2020 offering me clarity, dare I say 20/20 vision, I almost want to use the word pandemic, here and now.)
Remember all the confusion surrounding the contagion protection and elimination protocols in 2020, 2021, heck, ongoing even now in 2023.
The hysteria of blame.
The differing sides of who believed what.
Now, with that clarity, overlay those exact issues around a brand-new surge of raging hormones entangled with the fear of death. Pretend you are a teenager, in the 80s, and you are horny!
The hysteria of blame was insane. People were told not to pick up pens on the street, for fear of dying of AIDS. People were saying the most ridiculous things.
The opposite side of The Mask Debate of the 80s were the boys who were still attempting to convince half a generation they could die more easily from exploding balls, then they could from “the monkey disease only gay men get.”
Imagine if every touch is tinged with fear as you are negotiating the level of intimacy you are comfortable with.
My goodness, just look at the confusion around shaking hands today and imagine how confusing sex was for the women of Generation X. Please, keep in mind, condoms were less accepted then than masks are now.
I am not saying that this effected their understanding of their own sexuality or their feelings of safety around sex, because I am not opening my files for you today.
This is too personal to share as ‘client-stories’.
This is too real, for too many, to make different enough, not to make every client uncomfortable.
But I’m going to be super frank with y’all,
Generation X Women got FUCKED when it came to getting fucked.
Plain & simple.
They were raised by mothers telling them the most outlandish things from, “Make sure the boys think they are smarter than you”. They were told ridiculous lies like, “You have to kiss the boys who take you out”. One mother stated to at least one GenX woman before the age of 10, “Life isn’t like the movies, you can’t slap away an unwanted kiss”.
Then there were the fathers. The throwbacks to the pre-sexual-revolutionary days of when women wore full-body bras and accepted a slap, every now and then. Because they deserved it.
There are little girls from this forgotten generation raised believing that bruises didn’t count as abuse, only broken bones. And even then, those were typically, due to the severity of frailty of the damsel causing their own distress.
In unison now:
Whatever!
You wouldn’t believe the family dynamics that were deemed “acceptable” in the households that never looked like the neon dream being sold to the children trying to grow up in them.
In reality, the browned coffee-stained appearance was caused by 2 packs a day being smoked indoors, while the children were being forced to stay outside, “as long as the sun is up.”
They were not raised the same way as you.
And I think they are as jealous about your youth as you are about theirs.
Honestly, neither side of this sharp blade is any more, “fair” than the other.
The confusion of one generation is instilled in the next. Until clarity is created.
I am sorry the crazy way an entire generation of women came into their sexuality during a pandemic targeting love made so many of them scared or angry, at the very least, confused about ‘facts’. Perhaps they should be considered the National Enquirer Generation. No wonder there is a flat earth debate raging when there is so little access to clear, concise, consumable facts that can be completely trusted.
They were told their brains were eggs after all, they were told not to be smarter than the boys making up exploding body parts to get them to risk their lives for something that wasn’t even lovingly shared. A “give me mine” partner mentality in a time of having to risk it all?
Well, “No Thank You!”
From a generation of mislabeled, misunderstood misfits, I will admit, they all sorta feel a bit of frustration. You see, they have all spent a lifetime being discounted while having to smile politely.
They have permanently shrugged shoulders and a resting “whatever” face, at this point.
It’s not fair.
They want to be understood.
They want to be accepted.
Just like they see everyone else getting so much attempted acceptance.
They just don’t understand.
Because nobody is talking to them. Nobody is taking them seriously.
Name-calling is never the solution.
Labeling is only helpful, when learning what to dry-clean and what to handwash.
People are too multifaceted to be chained to a single label.
That is the beauty of what the new generations are teaching us.
See, GenX women were raised in a black & white world that they were promised was going to be neon. Many feel as if they need camo and fatigues, even bullet proof vests, just to navigate a world they have been keeping going since they were too young to be left in charge.
Please forgive us all for the mess we have left.
Despite all the labels, there were no instructions; we had to figure it out on our own.
Please, accept our attempts to keep up.
We do desperately want to be part of the solution.
I promise. Though there is confusion, GenX cares!
The biggest problem, the acceptance of the labels given intensifies the inner confusion of the GenX woman.
They start believing the vitriol being spat at them.
They embody the perception they are the problem.
It becomes the reversal of, “don’t commit the crime if you can’t take the time.”
Generationally, these women have done a lot of time for crimes they never commit. That isn’t always the best formula, in the end. Eventually, the mind reverses it, and it becomes:
“If you are going to do the time you might as well commit the crime.”
That mentality has never served anyone. It’s time to retire the tired and the untrue!
It’s time to clarify. It’s time to empower. A confident calm potential is waiting within the ‘crazy’ women of generation X.
Remember, crazy is as crazy does...I’m sure Mrs. Gump said at some point.
But really, crazy is simply a perception.
A perception of confusion that needs clarifying.
I don’t care if you think you are crazy,
or the people around you think you are crazy,
there is no such thing as crazy!
You can recognize that!
Emerge into the reality of your clarity.
It’s okay nothing feels fair. It isn’t!
You aren’t alone.
I understand. I can help.
Take it from a recent client who said at the start of her fifth and final session: