October's Wins-Day Win is...

I am going to confess something to you. Something to which those who have known me for many years may say, ‘well, yeah; no duh, jen!’ 

But it is still something I have fought and argued over for so long, I have truly seen it as an issue of conflicting truths due to other-people’s perspective. Certainly, not MY misperception!

Yet; as I have truly delved into figuring out the facts of reality, rather than the perception that my focus has created as my reality – even if for my entire life. I have finally recognized, I have finally accepted, I have an issue with food.

Shocking, I know; but we can all get over it together.

Technically, my ‘eating disorder’ started at such a young age; I wholeheartedly believed it was simply how I was made. Jessica Rabbit’s famous line comes to mind, ‘…I’m just drawn that way.’

Sure, it was true, I didn’t want to ‘get fat’ and I considered myself a ‘Twinkie away from 300 pounds.’ But I saw these beliefs as proof of understanding that my self-control was my only hope, based on family genetics that I assumed would be a lifelong struggle.  

Ironically, from a very early age, I was always considered under-weight. 

My mom’s nickname for me as a toddler was, her ‘little Cambodian refugee.’  It was said with such tenderness, I thought she meant it as a good thing…until that time I repeated it in front of her friends. OOOOOOOOOPS!

When I graduated from high school, I weighed 118 pounds, and felt the label of ‘healthy’ I was always being given was truly just a thinly veiled way of saying, ‘bordering on fat.’ 

It was around this time I heard a theory of health that used one’s weight as a monitor of how healthy they would be for the rest of their lives. The theory was, if one remained within 10 pounds of what they weighed at the end of high school they could avoid all the things that typically lead to unhealthy bodies.

Ahhhhhhhhhh, a truly justifiable, even a healthy reason to obsess over my weight for a few decades – right!?!

Possibly not, as it turns out.

I probably don’t have to tell you the ridiculousness of the theory I have stated above as a perceived truth. I will gratefully accept the grace of your understanding that recognizes the collective intelligence has come a very long way in the last 30 years. 

So, what could have possibly been so wrong with this line of thinking?  

For me, it became representative of the control I thought I had in my life. The fact that I knew I wasn’t accomplishing what I should be in every other area of my life didn’t seem to bother me as much as it should, as long as I could do what others found so difficult – stay thin.

After a point staying as close to 118 pounds (hmmmmm maybe 108 would be better?) was the most important thing I could accomplish – no matter what. 

About 15 years after graduation 108 was my high end, and I justified 98 would actually be better. It had become so easy! I truly understood the key to being thin successfully, and I felt great…

Until I didn’t.

Until at 90 pounds I realized I was a walking skeleton, still feeling unhappy about how I looked with absolutely nothing left to lose.

HOW COULD THIS BE!?!?!

We have all heard the saying, ‘you can’t be too rich or too thin.’ Could that actually be a fallacy, a misperception of reality???

I have recently heard that the very wealthy can feel so stuck in unhappy marriages, because they don’t want to lose half their wealth. WHHHAAAAT?!?

I understand when couples can’t afford to divorce because of finances being too little to facilitate the process…but being so wealthy you’d personally stay in a miserable marriage just so the other person didn’t get half? That’s unbelievable!

This is as baffling to me as what I say next may sound to you.

There is a point where the human body looks unhealthy due to being too thin.

There, I said it! 

The societal belief that the imbalance of weight only matters in one direction is dangerous! 

…for any who are searching for happiness in a number on the scale…

I’m not going to get into my mental tricks that made me a 90 pound 40-year-old, it isn’t the point of this success story at all! And, it is partially why I have never advertised to assist with weight-balancing clients before; I don’t want to add to the misperception that there is a happy number ANYWHERE on the scale! 

There isn’t.

When I married my husband, due to the injuries he received overseas and the recovery process he had been managing all on his own, he felt he was about 20 pounds over his desired weight. When we got married, he committed to a very serious diet plan. For years…and years.

Unfortunately, as is the case with so many people who put all their focus on losing weight, my husband’s results seemed to be going the wrong way. 

After about 7 years of watching this pattern he was roughly 30 pounds over his original target weight, and sadly feeling like an utter failure. He had played football in college (on the same team with Brian Urlacher!), been a successful entrepreneur, he’d even joined the military when most were retiring from it…he was not one to fail at ANYTHING!

Watching the love of my life struggle so pointlessly broke my heart. None of my ‘helpful hints’ over the years had helped any; nothing I tried to do to support his goals were working. And, I was feeling like a failure myself.

When I enrolled in my hypnosis training program and engulfed myself in studying the brain I suddenly realized, there was hope; truly, there was hope for both of us!

My personal struggle during the beginning of our marriage had actually taken me on my own first real roller-coaster ride with weight gain. I had just managed to get back to my logically minded goal of 120 after visiting skyrocketing heights I’d never known were personally possible, and I promised to stay ‘healthy’ for as long as I could. 

For the first time in my life, I assured myself there was nothing that my weight could do to make me happy, or unhappy!

At this point I began to educate my husband, with the help of modern hypnotic techniques, about my personal strategies that had served me for so long. Combined with the insight work that I have specialized in studying, we have delved into the root causes as well as the habits that not only created but maintained our thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors keeping us both so out of control with regard to food. Thankfully, through the insight work we now practice, we don’t have to worry about misusing any mental-tricks and having them accidentally turn to an extreme, thereby becoming unhealthy again.

My husband lost 40 pounds in 4 months and has kept it off for more than a year now! He has a whole new understanding of his body and definition of health. He also recognizes his current weight as a launch pad to his next goal, rather than a point of stagnation proving some failure. His ‘next goal’ is now based more on activity and accomplishments he plans to celebrate.

My weight has not noticeably fluctuated in about a year and a half! I now understand that I judge my weight as ‘successful’ when I can be active without discomfort. At both extremes I found it impossible to be active to any degree whatsoever. Now, I may not be running or biking; but I’ve never enjoyed those activities…I can, however, dance happily whenever I feel like it. And that feels super! 

This isn’t my thinnest; but, it is really close.

“see, I still eat”

This is the only picture I accidentally allowed while overweight…

“see, I still go outside”

If you are ready to see how hypnosis can help forever balance your weight allowing you to create happiness from within rather than from a number on the scale, schedule your own Complimentary Consultation Now!