The first step, in creating a desirable future, is to simply imagine a future you want!

This third blog in my ongoing series about manifesting a future you want, on purpose (rather than living life by default, or manifesting a future from fear) is going to delve deeply into the need to positively engage your imagination to create the outcome of your choosing. 

The goal is to help you learn to lay a positive foundation, through imaginary preparation, to set a game plan for your brain to follow.

Sounds easy enough, right?

A few weeks ago, when this began, I stated, “A desirable outcome must first be imagined, before it can be created. It’s impossible to create what you want, if you don’t actually know what it is!”

This may sound overly obvious, too basic to bother discussing; yet, it is not!

If you are aware of this fact, please, pat yourself on the back for already being one step ahead. This truth is actually the hardest aspect of change, for most people to grasp.

In an attempt to make this point as profoundly, and personal, as possible I will introduce you to a client and their story of struggle. Typically, I plan to utilize success stories to make my points. However, today’s information might best be understood by sharing an unfortunate lack of success, to illuminate how very important this first step is for any personal progress!

(All details have been altered enough to protect the privacy of my client, while maintaining the authenticity of the example.)

Mitchel describes himself as a man’s man; he’s handy in all ways, loves all aspects of sports (watching and playing). His annual hunting trips remind him of his childhood with his father; seeing occasional live music reminds him of his college days, from what feels like a lifetime ago. He socializes in a very large and continuously changing circle, always looking for that elusive ‘other’ who will complete the group he’s hoping to be a part of. He isn’t sure what’s missing, exactly; he just knows there is something lacking in his social situation. 

He doesn’t drink, never has; in fact, he secretly judges those who drink, just a bit. 

He announced very early on that he was not an imaginative person and hated the “where will you be in 5/10 years” question, more than any other question he’d ever been asked. 

He’s recently remarried to a devoted and loving wife named Amy, who he admits would probably walk across hot coals for him; but he describes her as one to lose her temper ‘for no good reason!’ They both came into this marriage with a few children of their own, the youngest being her daughter, Lisa. She is the only one currently living at home with them. Lisa is in her last year of high school, yet would rather hang out with her mom than anybody else. For some reason this annoys Mitchel more than he’s willing to discuss. Actually, there’s very little Mitchel enjoys discussing; he simply likes a clean and calm household without any drama.

Mitchel spends as much time ‘out and about’ as he possibly can. As a sales director for a natural gas company, he works from home. Getting out of the house is the only thing that makes him ‘happy.’ Though, he wouldn’t really describe it that way. 

“Happy is such a big feeling, after all.” he told me when I asked about what made him the happiest in life. When I asked how he would know if he was happy, he assured me he ‘would just know’. When asked, will you know by the different things you do during your day, or by the different feelings that you feel? He repeated, he ‘would just know.’

He knew what annoyed him, though. That was easy! Amy’s daughter, their relationship, annoyed him to no end. His job wasn’t satisfying him in any way at all. His health was a constant concern, as aging changed little things here and there more than he was ready for. 

Amy was always working around the house to make things as pleasant and enjoyable as she could for Mitchel, even though she worked very hard as a director for a local non-profit agency. Every time Mitchel heard about a new miracle diet that he wanted to try Amy would devote herself to becoming an expert at cooking whatever he would enjoy the most. She was always doing sweet little things for him…he couldn’t stand it! 

“She’s making sure I know what a bad husband I am.” he’d complain whenever he would tell me about the latest little thing Amy had done for him.

Mitchel, in truth, didn’t feel he deserved Amy; he genuinely thought she was too good for him. He was very concerned about their marriage failing, just like his first two had. He had always felt like a fraud and was simply waiting for Amy to figure it out on her own. And as he aged every ache and pain was a reminder of his time coming to an eventual end.

This is when Mitchel decided to call me about hypnosis. He was very clear on what he didn’t want anymore; he didn’t want Amy to make him feel like such a bad husband, he wanted her to stop her dramatic explosions that came ‘out of nowhere’, he didn’t like Lisa always hanging around with her mom, his job bored him to no end, and his final straw was the fact he couldn’t play basketball like he used to with his friends anymore.

Mitchel had always been dedicated to bettering himself and saw hypnosis as the next possible evolution in his development. He didn’t really know much about it, but was open to trying ‘just about anything’. He actually had a buddy who had successfully quit smoking through hypnosis years ago who had always described their experience as, ‘practically magic!’

When we first met and I asked Mitchel what benefits he was hoping for, he wrote a long list about what he no longer wanted in his life. This is actually pretty typical! Most can easily spout out a ‘laundry list’ of things they no longer want; it’s my job to illuminate their perspective enough to start them thinking about what they DO want.

The main problem with that typical line of thinking is that it very often has to do with what another person is or is not doing. Hypnosis is not magic; I cannot effect a change in anyone not working directly with me!

For example, “I wish Amy’s daughter Lisa would go away and leave us alone more.” is not something with which I can help.

Mitchel’s focus on (and his emotions tied to) what Lisa does, is the only thing I can help him with, in that scenario. I am not working with Lisa; therefore, I have no effect on her or her behavior.

Mitchel wanted to stop feeling like he was a bad husband. He didn’t want any drama when he decided to go out with his friends. He didn’t want to be so annoyed all the time; mostly, he didn’t want to be so afraid of what he saw as his sudden frailty, at only 55 years old.

These are all actually very possible to accomplish; if looked at from new perspectives, and by utilizing new tactics. 

Success is most likely when derived from personal passion, robust research, and adapting what needs to be altered. We all know the sayings, if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again. And of course, If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you’ve always got!

They are incredibly true statements. If what you are currently doing isn’t working for you, you must be willing to try something new. (Please, give yourself the credit you so richly deserve when you recognize and embrace this difficult reality!)

Sadly, Mitchel ‘knew what he knew and believed what he believed’ to such a dedicated degree, there was nothing new he was willing to learn, no change he was willing to make in himself. There was no situation that Mitchel wasn’t, technically, the victim of. Any suggestion of trying something differently only translated to him that I was blaming him for what was happening. 

I have learned so much from Mitchel; I’m genuinely grateful to have had him as a client! I lovingly hold him in my highest vibration, wishing him the very best along his journey. I have since changed many aspects of how I discuss hypnosis with people and I now recognize a few red flags faster than I would have without him. I am also much more careful around the concept of responsibility, both the client’s and mine.

Why would I share this story with you, here? Why on earth would my very first client story be about the only person who ever told me I was unable to affect any beneficial changes in their life?

I believe understanding this unfortunate example is essential for everybody and anybody looking to make positive changes in their life! 

My goal is to help you learn to lay a positive foundation, with imaginary preparation, to set a game plan for your brain to easily follow.

Let’s admit, too many have advanced degrees in laying negative foundations, with imaginary preparation, that their brains easily follow. Why not trust in the possibility this technique works the other way as well?

If what you are doing isn’t working as well for you as you hoped, gain a new focus from a different perspective, #HypnosisHelps!